What keeps you going?

 Assalamualaikum and hi everyone. I've been wanted to write something a few times and every time it just failed. If you saw this entry please, say congratulations to me hahaha.

"What keeps you going?' I received this question on my Instagram's story from one of my best friends. It takes me a while to answer this and to put my words together. I did answer her on my stories but I think I have a lot more to say on this topic. If you are new to my blog or just didn't keep up with my life journey, I just want to let you guys know that I'm struggling with my life and I'm on a journey in discovering  "self-love". Being sentimental, emotional, and a weird type of person. I just can't stop but thinking about this question so hard!

I am nobody, I have no great achievement, I don't know why my friend ask me that because honestly, she has more great achievement than me. But I know that she always respects me for able to keep doing what I like. This is my answer for anyone out there who may need this. 

The biggest reason for what keeps me going in whatever I did until now is that I believe wholeheartedly that every single human being in this world has their own pace, own destiny, and their own journey. Some of us may have the same destination but we may have detoured from the normal route. A lot of times, I feel very insecure when someone of my age or younger is very successful and I almost give up frequently. But, if I give up, will anything change? Will the person who I feel insecure about suddenly became unsuccessful?  We are all labeled as "humans" but little did we know, each of us is unique and capable of amazing things in our own way. Keep moving, if you are tired, take a break. 

I don't know how I'd look like at the finish line, I want to know
But for now I run on the road ahead of me, I'll decide later
Until then, I'm not looking at others
Don't forget my speed, my lane, my pace - Stray Kids, My Pace

Next, positivity. Lame. I know. It is so hard for us to look on the positive side when things didn't go our way or we are just tired of our own life. I agree. But somehow, I always force myself to believe that everything happened for reasons and I should be grateful that the problem that I have could be worst. This cannot be applied to everyone out there because our capabilities to cope with problems are different. However, I'm just going to put it out there that positivity does help us in a hard time. It will in the slightest way possible, it will help. I always think that people who are successful in their life have the light of positivity in their life. No reasons for us to stop searching for positivity.

This is another crucial point for me. Be happy with every little thing. I realize that I should be happy with every little thing when I always found myself being sad for not able to find a boyfriend. I'm 22 years old, being single my whole life and my friends are having a boyfriend, getting engaged, and getting married. It might sound funny but that's the reality, the pressure to keep up with society. When I was able to find happiness in the smallest thing, it felt good and make me want to keep living. I am doing business, but till now I did not have a lot of customers but when I promote the products and people reply to it without even buying them. I feel happy and grateful. I feel like I can keep doing this! (If you want to buy Korean skincare hit me up @thesthatix_ on IG) Shameless plug.

This is kind of personal but another reason for me to keep going is that I try to stop putting hopes in other people. I feel like, in the end, it's only me in my journey. Asking for help and having someone else alongside is better than being alone. But sometimes, the scariest and the biggest fight that needs to be done is with your own self. I don't know if this makes sense to any of you but I hope you got what I mean. For example, I wanted to get out of my comfort zone but at the same time, I was hoping that someone will guide me. If those people who are meant to help you failed to meet your expectation, you'll feel sad, clueless, and pretty much feels like everything isn't going on your way. In simpler words, expect less. 

Lastly, don't be too hard on yourself. You had already go through so much in your life. Hug yourself and pat your own shoulder and tell yourself "You have done a good job, let's keep going". 

That's all for this entry, share with me what are the reasons for you to keep going in whatever you do! See you in the next entry.

The story behind: A Silent Voice

Assalamualakum and hi everyone! This will be my first ever review on anime and instead of reviewing I would like to discuss the message of the story. So, my first "the story behind" will be about A Silent Voice (Koe no katachi). I've made a podcast on this topic but it is super awkward! My blog will discuss in detail. But if you prefer in the audio form you can check out on a few platforms such as Anchor, Spotify, Breaker, Overcast, and PocketCasts (click on the platforms name to be directed or you can type in "AwTalk" on those platforms). It's a trial episode so forgive me for the bad quality!

cr. https://pin.it/5rCJ6G6

Warning! Spoilers ahead!

Bully, depression, and suicide trigger!

Title: A silent voice / Koe no katachi

Genre: Drama, school, shounen, romance

Production studio: Kyoto Animation

My rate: 9.5/10

I have watched this anime for almost 4 times and every time I watched, I start to understand this story more and it gets depressing and sad!  This story starts off with the guy name Ishida Shouya, a highschool student who tries to take off his own life by jumping off the bridge. He quit his part-time job, sell off his belongings, and emptied his bank account. He proceeds to give all the money to her mother. At this point, he really determined to take his own life. Somehow, his attempt was failed as he was reminded to Nishimiya Shouko. 

Long story short, during elementary school, Nishimiya Shouko was transferred to Shouya's class and she has a hearing disability.  Shouya and his classmates bully Shouko out of the fun. When the mother notifies the school, Shouya has been blamed alone. Shouko has transferred to another school and later, Shouya has been bullied by his classmates. He has been ignored throughout his entire year in middle school and later in high school. He has no friends and he was kind of canceled everyone else in his life. He grows up with all the guilt towards his mother and also Shouko. He reunited with Shouko to amend his wrongdoings and he wants to reset his own life. 

Characters

I personally think each of the characters in this story is another reason for this anime being so amazing! The characters are so relatable in the real world and yes, these types of people exist. Let's get into sides character apart from Nishimiya Shouko and Ishida Shouya.

Nishimiya Yuzuru- Is Shouko's little sister. I believe she is the bridge between Shouko and Shouya. Despite her young age, she feels like she holds a lot of responsibilities in her family. She acts like a guardian for Shouko. She is very mature for her age. 

Ueno Naoka- Is one of Shouko's bully. She is very active in bullying Shouko but she put the blame on Shouya and then she had the audacity to call out Shouko for ruining Shouya's life. 

Nagatsuka Tomohiro- He was the first person Shouya open up to, in high school. I honestly, love Tomohiro's character and I believe everyone needs this type of friend. He is very supportive and he just doesn't judge a person based on their past.

Kawai Miki- I just can't put it in words how much I dislike this character. She was also part of Shouko's bullied. But she will always act like she is the victim and everyone should like her. But, it is not fair, she has a good looking and kind boyfriend. NOT FAIRRR! *internally screaming* 

Mashiba Satoshi- He is Kawai's boyfriend. At first, I thought his character has nothing much to do with this story but I changed my mind. He can be a really good friend and a good boyfriend that can help others to improve themselves. 

Sahara Miyoko- She is the only one who is willing to befriend with Shouko and learn sign language to communicate.

Lastly, Shimada Kazuki and Hirose Keisure. These 2 boys are Shouya's best friend during elementary school. But they are the ones who put the blame on Shouya and later bully him. 

A Silent Voice

A silent voice or should I said silent voices? Physically, Shouko is deaf and she has difficulties to convey her message to other people. Mentally, Shouya was not able to open up to people and tell them how he was feeling. Shouko was not able to listen and Shouya did not want to listen. Shouya admits that if he tries to listen, all his and Shouko's suffers will not happen. He was young, probably around 12 years old and he regretted that moment a lot. Throughout the movie, we can see Shouya was suffering from anxiety.

"Back then, if we could have heard each other's voices, everything would have been so much better" - Ishida Shouya

Shouko fell in love with Shouya. But in her point of view, it was all her mistakes. She thought she has ruined Shouya's life and she feels he cannot be happy with her. Although Shouya tries to seek redemption for his past wrongdoing, both of them are living on their own lines and they didn't really understand each other yet.

I also believe silent voice implies to their elementary school classmates too. They silent their voice for their own benefits, like putting all the blames on Shouya. They also refuse to listen to both Shouya and Shouko.

If you open the eyes and look around us, this movie somehow relatable to reality. You know how anime tend to over exaggerate things. But Koe no katachi, is written beautifully. My opinion can be a little different from yours but I can see a lot of people loving this story.

This anime is suitable for the non-anime watcher too. What do you guys think? Have you watched this anime? Share with me on comment section below! See you guys in the next entry!