When I started my self-love journey I didn't believe that it was going to be this long and I was going to discover a lot of stuff about myself. I guess by now, you guys know that I've been going to therapy to seek help with stuff I've been dealing with. Earlier this year I went to an ADHD webinar as I do suspect myself to have ADHD because I keep seeing the symptoms to be similar to what I'm going through.
However after the webinar, I was pretty convinced that I do not have ADHD because I do not relate to some parts of the major symptoms, and as per word suggesting, I am not hyperactive. I am pretty much laid back physically.
I gave like two months after the webinar and I finally decided to take ADHD assessment because something in me kept telling me that I needed to get validation. I feel like I've been struggling for so long but there's actually "nothing" wrong with me. From the initial assessment, my therapist said that I am likely to have ADHD but she advised me to go through therapy sessions first. After my seventh session, we decide to take an in-depth test including an IQ test. The result just came in and I was diagnosed with Inattentive ADHD. Basically, inattentive ADHD is internalized hyperactive. I was struggling with stuff like being organized, missing stuff, etc.
When I was aware of my result, I didn't really know how to feel. Some parts of me feel a little relieved because I feel validated. I just got a major throwback on my life and basically, a lot of stuff finally made sense to me. However, moving forward I don't really want to use ADHD as an excuse for me to just be a mean person. It is not fun, to have difficulties doing daily tasks for a normal human being. I genuinely started this journey and took all these tests because I was feeling really bad about myself.
I would say there is one part of the things that's been bugging me that is finally ruled out. Now I can actually focus on specific parts to improve myself to function in daily life. I am actually very glad I took the first step in my healing journey. Because if I don't I would still probably be hating myself and confused.
One thing I would say to you guys is trust your guts. If you feel like something is wrong with you, trust it and slowly discover your life. Knowing what is wrong with you doesn't mean you are less worthy. It proves the point of how strong you are because you are willing to learn about yourself.
I guess that's it for this post, I just want to share my journey with you guys just like how I always do. Remember you are not alone and you deserve so much love. See you guys in the next post, feel free to drop your question in the comment box or just hit me up if you need someone to talk to about mental health.
See ya <3