Assalamualaikum and hello everyone. How are you guys doing? I hope you are doing fine and only filled with love and happiness. It's been a while since my last update and honestly, I'm out of ideas on what to write. I feel so heavy to keep sharing about mental health since I wasn't in the best shape too. However, I'm back on this entry to write a letter for myself and maybe it can be useful to any of my readers
Hi, dear self.
You will be 24 years old soon, it's been a long and tiring journey. All I want you to know is that you have been really strong and you did really well surviving despite the tough time you went through. I know there are plenty of moments that you feel unloved, unappreciated and hopeless but never once do you give up on your life. I'm really sorry for keep hurting you mentally and physically. I'm sorry for abandoning you during the most challenging time. I promise you all I'm trying to do is survive and protect us.
I know we are on the self-love journey, this blog is proof that we are trying really hard to love ourselves and be better. I know really well that a lot of days it felt like impossible, you just want to give into the lump of darkness. You have been living for other people's sake, you have no dream and no control over your own life. But, look at you now. Those clouded dreams are visible, you are gaining control over your life. It may be small steps but it's a huge progress.
Remember those days when you are scared of the amusement park but still went with your friends and get on the ride, remember when you are scared of meeting new people but manage to get a new friend and went out together, remember when driving seems impossible but you did it, you drive to a lot of places, remember the day you were scared of the idea of having someone in your life and now you want to have it, remember.. those days when waking up seems impossible but you did.. There's still a lot of things that we want to do but never did and that's okay. Take your time. Small steps. You are doing so well.
Please never give up, keep surviving even though it seems impossible. Keep on writing because that is what makes you feel alive. Be patient with yourself. Be kind to yourself. You are loved, you are appreciated, and there is hope for you. You are amazing, you are pretty, and you have always been kind. I love you <3
Sincerely,
Sarah Nurasiyah