Assalamualaikum and hi. Salam Ramadhan! I hope you guys are doing fine. Today is going to be another mental health-related entry. But instead of dealing with mental health in the first person, it's the second/third person or I could say it as becoming a part of a support system to your friends or family.
Disclaimer!
I am not a professional, a therapist, counsellor, or a psychiatrist. I have no qualification in advising people on mental health matters. This entry is made from my point of view and is meant to be a discussion topic.
Dealing with people who suffer from mental illness was never easy. It can be really exhausting and sometimes we just don't understand why they were acting in a specific behaviour. Or sometimes we just don't know how to help them. Especially when it comes to the loved one.
Mental illness signs can vary from high mood swings to having suicidal thoughts. Sometimes, mental health can be undiagnosed. When you notice the sign to your loved one, be as open-hearted as you can be. It's going to take you through a ride. In the end, it will be worth it.
To be a great support system, you must not be too judgemental or critical of them and ensure them that you care. Be sure to check them out. However, don't be too pushy, give them some space and never force them to open up. Let them know, that whenever they are ready, you will listen. This will make them feel heard and valid. I know sometimes the story they share might be a small matter or didn't make sense to you. But to them, it is real and heavy.
When they open up to you, they are not actually asking you to solve their issue but rather to let it out from their chest. So, avoid giving advice unless they asked for it. Because what they told you is just a surface of a bigger problem / unsettled issue. We might unconsciously, give a bit of bad advice that could harm them more. Instead, tell them " I'm so sorry you have to go through all of it" "It must be tough for you to go through this" "It is okay to feel that way, what can I help to make you feel better?".
DO NOT! compare them to yourself or with other people. Their experience might be similar to others but the pain is there, they are feeling it. With all the thoughts and suffering they went through, the last thing they would want is to be compared. It would make them feel invalid and they might not open up to you anymore. You don't want this to happen too.
You may help them contact professionals, or motivate them to seek help. Be careful, do not force or control them, let them make their own decision. I believe that you can be the biggest reason why your loved one seeks help. This will allow them to feel appreciated.
In all this effort to help, you must understand that healing from mental illness takes a long time. You need to be patient, it is a slow process of trial and error. You can read more about mental health, so you would understand more about how to be around them.
Providing emotional support is an honourable thing to do, you might be the reason why they are still fighting and stay alive. You will make them feel less lonely and definitely feel heard. Anyway, please don't abandon your mental health. Be sure to practise self-care and most importantly know your limits.
We are all struggling in our own ways, let's be the support system for one another and create a safe space for everyone to talk about their mental health without the stigmatization.
Please share your thoughts in the comment section :) See you in the next entry <3