Is it okay to feel this way?

 Assalamualaikum and hi everyone! It's already 5 days into 2021, I actually want to do like 2020 appreciation post but I ended up not doing it and I just want to write about something else. Anyway, how are you guys? I hope each of you is doing good. I've been better these days.

2020 has thought me a lot of things especially with all this self-love discovery. (Oh, if you are new here be sure to check my other entry to keep up with my journey a little bit.) One thing that I discover in 2020 that changed my perspective about humans or feelings is that the validity of feelings. 

I know a lot of people that are struggling with themselves and often questioned their feelings, including me. Sometimes we just keep asking and telling ourselves "why am I feeling this way?", "I should not feel this way", "Is this feeling normal?", I should stop feeling this way".  I always have this kind of thought whenever I have this weird, overwhelmed kind of feeling which I can't really explain. But I hope you get it. 

I learned that whatever you are feeling is true and it is okay to feel that way. Your feeling is valid. We've been through so much in our lives and we can't just expect it to be all happy and good. It's okay to feel sad, angry, excited, irritated, or every single emotion that exists. But sometimes, people around us just don't understand and making us confused. They even compared themselves who had it worst or better. For example, Alle telling Belle she should not feel sad and hurt because she falls from the chair while Alle falls from the stairs, and it hurts Alle more. Does this mean Belle's feeling is invalid and Belle should not feel hurt or sad because Alle had it worst than her? No, she is entitled to her own feeling and life is not about competition. 

Yes, we should be grateful for everything that we had and some people had it worst than us. But don't make "bersyukur" as a concept to invalidate your feeling. Make it a concept to change and improve yourself. Understand your feeling at the moment then look around you and then remind yourself what you are grateful for today. It goes something like "I am sad today because everything isn't going my way but I got to eat my favorite food and I got to meet my friends". This so hard to explain in words. But when I realized this, It just gets better. You need to admit that you are feeling something, tell yourself it's okay to feel that way, and then look towards the solutions to avoid the same overwhelming feeling in the future.

Saying this is easier than to be done. As a person who deals with herself, I used to blame myself or telling myself I shouldn't feel this or that way and as a person who is standing by as friends or strangers, I used to talk about how people should feel. I was immature and probably know nothing better. I feel bad about it.

I think this is the best thing that I learn last year. Although it seems good, I can still be wrong but learning about the validity of feelings does make me feel a little better. Friends, I still have a long way to go but I do really wish I can be a small help to any of you out there. 

Does this entry make sense? I feel like it is such a weird way to write this all up but I just really want to share about this. If you have any other opinions about this topic, feel free to drop comments! See you guys in the next entry.