Flawsome | Self-love

Assalamualaikum and Hi, It's my semester break again. I've been trying to write but somehow I'm not feeling it. I have more articles to finish up but it feels so hard to do. So, please pray for me.

This entry probably will be similar to my "Why my life isn't perfect as other?". But I still have a lot of things to say on my "love yourself" series. We all have been going through a lot. Every day is a new journey. So, I'm here again to give you all and myself some support for us continuing our life.

Flawsome :an individual who embraces their flaws and know they are awesome regardless.

Every single of us has our own flaws, we sometimes work hard to throw our flaws away. Little did we know, flaws are still part of us. Without your flaws, you may not be yourself. We should accept our flaws. If only we love ourselves for whoever we are regardless of any weaknesses we have we are able to be happy and feel less insecure about ourselves. 

No one is perfect, stop being too hard on yourself. You deserve all the love even though you have flaws. Maybe other people won't give you all the love but you should love yourself. Begging for someone's love can't give us happiness but loving ourselves do give us happiness. Be grateful for being yourself, embrace your flaws and give self-love is one of the best things you can give to yourself. 

Stop hating, envying, jealousy, insecure and all those negative stuff and try to build a positive perception. You will able to be happy on the smallest thing ever. 

This is a short entry that I would like to share with you guys. I ain't perfect but I make this entry to remind myself and maybe this can help some of you guys out there. Embrace your flaws and you'll be Flawsome :) Have a good day.

BTS In Malaysia

*DISCLAIMER!*

This article is based on my opinions 

There is no hate message or anything mean to harm any individual.

Assalamualaikum and Hi. Before I get any further into my entry I would like to wish all my readers Salam Ramadhan.

There are lots of debate and status going around after the Malaysian Youth Minister announce that they want to bring BTS to Malaysia. As majority of kpop fans aware that Malaysian don't really accept kpop because I don't even know why. I knew this post might be a little late but I just finished my final exams.

Before I write more about this stuff. I want to share a little bit of backstory about my position to give an opinion on this matter. I am a kpop fans since 2011. Right now I am in another fandom which means I am not an ARMY and I will not be attending the concert if it happens but I still listen to them don't worry their songs are great. I also give this opinion as an ordinary Malaysia citizen. If you don't agree with my statements that doesn't mean I'm wrong and you're right. It is just a different opinion so don't take it seriously. 

The minister is inviting BTS for Visit Malaysia 2020. For my knowledge, it is still in the negotiating process. A lot of Malaysian citizen and celebrities opposed this idea because they said BTS are not Malaysians. Why are we promoting them instead of our local music? Meanwhile, for fans, they are happy about this news because the long awaiting boy band is finally coming to Malaysia.  

In my point of view, Visit Malaysia is about promoting Malaysia to the individual around the world. Sending them a message that Malaysia exists. I understand that we need to show off uniqueness and the beauty of Malaysia to the world. We have done it back in 2007, 2014. We need something larger to trigger world eyes to at least focus on Malaysia and then learn about Malaysia. If we do a festival or concert bringing all possible Malaysian celebrity on the same stage and promote Malaysia on that stage, who are the audiences? foreigner? It will be Malaysians. What is the point promoting Malaysia to the Malaysians? 

Why BTS?

BTS is currently the largest boy group in the world. We are not talking about kpop anymore. BTS has launched a partnership with UNICEF focusing on youth violence and global education. They did more than just k-pop music. Their song has topped in lots of music chart that has ever exist that you can name it. Every pair of eyes are on them. Bringing BTS in will bring a lot of foreign tourist into Malaysia. Even when smaller k-pop group held a concert in Malaysia few foreigners attend the concert. 

So, when they come here people all around the world will together attend the concert. They will also spend their days here, visiting places and help our economics. Now, people will be opposing in Religion point. BTS or not there will be some festival going on to promote Malaysia. It's the same for me. Even it is not for visit Malaysia there will always be a concert around KL. I mean none of you talking about Ed Sheeran concert in Malaysia "everyone" seems to accept it fine. Shawn Mendes is having a concert this upcoming October, seems fine too. (Please sponsor me Shawn Mendes ticket please).

I truly don't understand why some people are opposing k-pop so much. K-pop is just the same as any other music genre. You disliking them doesn't mean they aren't good. Everyone has their own opinion, judgment, and liking. The least you can do is respect everyone favorite. 

If you agree or don't agree with me feel free to comment and give your opinion but no harsh words, Harsh comments will not be published. 

Why my life isn't perfect as others?

Assalamualaikum and hi! readers, I'm back again with another entry. I feel kind of anxious when I didn't update my blog. I don't know why. Need some serious help I guess.

If you are already in my blog for a while, I bet you know what have I been through, what I feel certain times and many things did happen. Well, that is life. There is someday that I feel so happy and feel so grateful for everything I had in my life. But somedays I just want to cry and blame everything for reasons. In fact, my life has a lot of flaws.

Sometimes we go on Instagram scrolling down to our timeline we see our friends who we believe has a better life than us. We feel anxious, envy and we get to the point that we might actually hate them or ourselves for not being able to live like them. What can I say, their life isn't perfect too. People put up happy moments on their walls just to make themselves feel better. No one would show their own flaws to the world. Yet, we want to be like them.

Everyone has their own strength and weaknesses. Sometimes we kind of left behind our strength just to be like someone else. Trying to fit in the society. One thing that we always forgot is that we can't have everything we desire. Life has its own limitation. Remember, if you try to break your limits there will be consequences.
Don't get me wrong, I did not support you guys to stay in comfort zone. You need to get out of your own box but there is a limit. It's like you get out from your own box to bigger box but the bigger box still has its walls.

You know, it is okay to be broke you don't need to use luxurious things just to make you look good. I truly feel like this is a "flexing era" where everyone feels the need to show off everything from their Gucci slipper to their iPhone Xs to their high-end makeups. This is not supposed to be a culture. It is totally cool to put on "selipar jamban", any Lenovo, Oppo or any cheaper phone. It is fine! totally fine. If no one gonna hangs out with you, hit me up let's set a date.

What I'm trying to say is, every people is different. Some of them are lucky enough to be gifted with lots of money and some of us are gifted with good health, good friend, good grades while a lot of people out there are struggling more than us. You actually can find happiness everywhere even in the smallest things. Life isn't always like a cupcake. Be happy, find your own happiness. Enjoy every moment. Because it is your own life.

 I know that this entry is kind of all over the place but you got what I'm trying to say right? That's all for today's rant, Thank you for coming to my TED talk. hahaha.

That one friend who change me

Assalamualaikum and hi everyone. On this entry, I want to do a throwback back in 2013. I think this one of the most important things that happen to me or a point in my life that I always want to remember and look back.

*Disclaimer, All of the real name will be changed to another name. Just because I don't really want to share their real name.

When I started high school everything seems pretty normal. I make new friends, I became friends with people from my primary school. I happen to be closed like really close to this one girl. In my school, from form 1 to form 3 we will not have to change classes so we will be looking at the same faces in the same classes for 3 years until PMR. But, before we started form 2, teachers suddenly move my closest friend to another class and another girl moves to my class. It's like the teacher exchanged them. I was so annoyed and I don't like that new girl at all as I feel like she parts me away from my best friend. I'll call her Jennie because I want to respect her privacy. But if you happen to know her please respect her.

I heard a lot of things about Jennie which is most of them are not a good one and one thing that I'm sure about her is that she is problematic. I was that kind of girl who doesn't break rules so for me she was pretty bad. She feels pretty invisible for me throughout the year. Until I was in fight with my friend, you know typical high school drama. I was left out by my circle of friend and I'm not really good at making new friends. I was pretty sad, the only friend I had left was in another class. Jennie sat next to another girl, I don't really know her well too but she seems nice and their friend circle is not that big. I'll call her Rose. I'm not sure if Jennie friend with Rose but they sat next to each other in class, so I guess they are friends. I approach them just to sit together with them so that I feel less lonely. Because my "war" doesn't seem like it's going to end soon. It just getting worst.

Rose and Jennie were pretty nice to me, they let me sit with them, eat with them, play with them. But, of course, I'm still judging Jennie pretty hard. Then we grew closer. When school starts for my form 3, I let Jennie sit next to me. So, we are now deskmate. We get so close. I stop judging her and accept her for whoever she is. I told myself that if she is problematic, she won't affect me but I'm going to change her. That's what I thought.

When we grew closer I learn that her life was not amazing. She has a broken family. By means broken it was pretty bad. I tried my best to be on her side. Rose and I will always listen to her when something happened. I can still remember how Jennie trust me so much that she asked our counselor to let me in the counseling session to accompany her. I am just a friend and most likely a stranger to her life. But she trusted me so much. I do my best to be her moral support supplies. I'll buy Cadbury chocolate every time she needed comfort and left it under her table just to make her happy at least. I can't so much to help her.

I knew why she was so problematic in school, why she always absent from school and why people don't like her. People don't like her because people were being too judgemental. People don't know all those stories all they ever know is Jennie is a problematic person. But in reality, she was suffering a lot. I heard with my own ears how people downgraded her I see how people bully her emotionally just because she is not a perfect student. It somehow hurts me too.

After PMR, we were still in the same class. Jennie, Rose and I. We kind of friend that give moral support a lot to each other whenever we going through harsh time. In that class, we got another friend Jisoo. So it's now, Jennie, Rose, Jisso and me. I'll call myself Lisa then. We are now "BLACKPINK" Omg I'm so lame. Please don't critics me for using their name.

4 of us suffers in a different way. Neither of us perfect. We had problems and I think that what complete us. We vowed to keep everything straight if they don't like me in certain ways talk into my face. I'll do the same. Tbh, we slap each other with facts and harsh words of reality. I don't think other people can accept those words. That's how our friendship goes until the end of high school life. Till these days, we still keep in contact. We still hit the groups chat to spill our heart off.

Each character I mentioned in this story affect me somehow. But I think Jennie played a big role. She makes me realize how lucky am I and I should be grateful for my lives. She teaches me not to judge people to fast. If only I knew what she went through I won't label her as a problematic classmate. I won't ever look down on her.

I'm so thankful to be her friend. If I never learned about her, I'm probably still an ignorant and ungrateful same girl who I used to be. She shows me the reality of lives.

Thank you :)

Kpop as an escape

Assalamualaikum and hi everyone. So, today I'm back with another entry but it is not the continuation from my Korea trip. I'm not really feeling in continuing it because most of the days are pretty much similar. Anyway, I do make a vlog on it so you guys can check it [Here]. But if you want to know more of Korea trip please leave a comment.

Today I'm going to share with you guys about Kpop. I'm pretty sure a lot of my readers and my friends are aware that I'm a huge Kpop fan. Recently, Kpop is growing bigger than when I first into Kpop especially in Malaysia. When Kpop is huge of course we can see tons of people liking it and hating on it. It's a tea. You can not blame the haters, it is just their norm of hating something people like. What should we do if we confront haters? we ignore them.

Last week, I saw a tweet on Twitter this girl screenshot her conversation with her mom asking her mom to sponsor her to a Kpop concert. Then her mom said no, she can't afford it because the concert is in another city (this happened in America if I'm not mistaken, not a Malaysian I think so). She then was mad at her mother and said that nobody actually loves her but her Korean idol. When I read this I was really mad. You are supposed to work on your own, save up some money. It's your interest, not your mother's. She already works hard enough to raise you and yet you telling her your Korean idol loves you more than your mother?

I can relate how she actually sees her Korean idol as her savior or "the only people who love her" but I do not understand why she needs to be so rude to her mother. I can relate but I will not be rude to my mother. Maybe she's too young I don't know.

I was having a harsh time now and then and I don't really know what to do to feel better. The only things that I'm so interested in are Kpop. So I'll watch their videos, listen to their music without realizing it I feel much better. Kpop is so much more than just music they have tons of videos of them doing so many things like a variety show, daily life series, travel and a lot of funny videos. That's why we feel close to them, we watch them grow.

Yet, being Kpop fans sometimes can be hard. You see another Kpop fans going to their concert, buying their merchandise, buying their album and attending fansign. This makes you feel upset because you can't afford. It's been 8 years for me, I've been through that. Honestly, it is okay to be broke. No one to blame, not your parents. We need to work harder because you will appreciate it more. I won't forget my first ever album and my first concert. Till now I only went to one concert I have no official merchandise and 2 Kpop album and I'm still proud of it.

When my parents first found out I love Kpop, they against me. Well, strict Asian parents hahaha. But I can't stop it, it becomes like an addiction. At least I don't do drugs. LOL. However, addiction can't always be negative. There is a positive effect on me at least. Because Kpop, I'm into writings. I start my blog life because of Kpop. Although my blog was so cringy (my blog name is yayakpopgirl..... like... wtf?) Because of it I became a passionate writer, I got an offer to become a contributor on Zalora and I just got accepted to become one of the pool writers on crunchbynuffnang.

So, any though of Kpop you want to share with me? Feel free to comment down below. See you guys in next post!

KDrama Review: Mother (2018)

Assalamualaikum and hi everyone. I would like to skip a post about my Korea exchange student program for a while. Because I cannot wait any longer to make a review on this drama.

The rate on google is 9.2/11. But personally, for me, it's 15/10. This drama definitely going to be one of my favorite drama ever. I'm not that type of person who loves family genre type of drama. I'm more into a romantic comedy, fantasy or crime.

The story

This story is about Kang Soojin, a bird researcher and enthusiast who became a temporary school teacher. While she became a homeroom teacher she was concerned with one of her student Kim Hye Na, who seems to be a little unorganized and sometimes her body was bruised all over. Soojin tries to befriend with her to help her even though Soojin has no interest in kids. Hye Na was brutally abused by her mother's boyfriend.

One night, Soojin went to Hye Na house to return her notebook that was left in Soojin's house. Before she gets to the house door she notices a moving black plastic bag. Hye Na was left outside and tied in a plastic bag. After seeing this, Soojin "kidnap" Hye Na to help her run away from her family. She changed Hye Na's name to Yon Bok and she became Yon Bok's mother. This story basically shows how Soojin and Hye Na was on run away because they are wanted by the police.

There's a lot more story to this drama that I do not want to spoil it to you guys. There are reasons why instead of seeking help from police Soojin just take her away illegally that you can only find out watching this drama.

Main Character

Yon Bok or Hye Na character was acted by Heo Yool was well portrayed. Despite her young age, I think she really did well. I was amazed by her acting as if she went through all those hardships. Hye Na / Yon Bok character was the one drive me into this drama. Kang Soojin was acted by Lee Bo Young, nothing to say much about her because she is a good actress.

Drama Messages

This drama also sent a lot of messages to the viewer. It shows how child abuse can consequence someone's life. It also shows how a broken family can harm their child emotionally and physically. The drama also gives a glance on mental illness that has been portrayed very well by Hye Na and her mother's boyfriend.

The most important messages that I can see in this drama is a mother's love towards their child. Being adopted doesn't mean biological parents hate their own child. Not every parent have an amazing life to keep their child by their sides. This drama shows a very strong message on foster mother's love towards their adopted child. Even the child is not from their own womb but their loves toward the child are much bigger. They are willing to go through a rough path to raise their adopted child.

I literally cried on each episode. This drama is so good I don't know if I am not aware of this drama or people don't really notice this drama internationally. This drama has won few awards in Korea so this a guaranteed a worth it drama to watch. I know I'm a year late to review this but I'm still doing it just because how good it is.

Have you guys watched this drama? What was the saddest part for you? If you haven't make sure to watch it! Share with me and let's cry together hahaha. See you guys in the next entry. Byee~

Winter Program in Korea (Day 4 and Day 5)

Assalamualaikum and hi! This entry will be the continuation from the last entry. I know it's been awhile, so forgive me. I was having finals so I cannot continue updating you guys about my journey. However, here I am to share with you guys my experience for the program on day 4 and 5

Our fourth day there happened to be on 31 December 2018 (Monday). So, you guys can expect a lot from day 4.

It is our first Korean language class. I've been watching lots of Korean drama and listen to a lot of Korean songs but do I know their language? Maybe. I knew certain words but I have zero ideas on  Korea alphabet (Hangul). Oh, I only know how to spell my name because I googled it. So the class became very exciting for me. The class starts at 9 a.m and end at 12 p.m. Tbh, if it is an accounting class I would be dead because 3 hours is not a short period of time. However, I enjoyed that class a lot because it is new for me and I think 3 hours is not enough. Our 선생님 (teacher) cannot speak in English so it was a little hard for us to communicate in class but she manages to teach us a lot. 

So this is the view of the class from my sit. Nothing much to see but a better view is coming in next entry maybe. 

After our class finished, we have free time we can basically go anywhere we like and we need to gather at 2.30 p.m for next scheduled. We always move to classes or for scheduled together just to make sure everyone was there and nobody was left behind. 

So at 3 p.m, we went to the city tour. Just to let you know that I always have a problem in remembering places name so, I'm sorry if I didn't include the places name (I try my best to google it.huhu)  However, all the places we went to that day are only in Daejon. Daejon are famous for its science and technology stuff so basically for the next city tour also will be related to science.

The first place that we went to was the Hanbit Tower and Expo Bridge. We need to do a task which is taking funny photos there. So, nothing much happened but it was fun. I'm not gonna include the funny photo because I can't find it and my group didn't win. Guess it is not funny enough.

Did I mention in the last entry that we need to walk a lot? Yea, we still need to walk a lot on this city tour. I remember exchanging cultural information with my Korean buddy. She was interested in Malaysia a lot. I think I do a pretty good job of promoting Malaysia. Hahaha. It was fun.

Then we go to a public hot water pool spa kind of place where people soak their legs in hot water. I personally didn't soak my water because I'm just too lazy to take off my shoes. It is a free time for us so we can either go back to the dorm or go anywhere we wanted but it's getting dark and we will be having another activity later on that night. So most of us decided to go back.

I think this is my most favorite event that happened for 2 weeks in Korea. We went to a New Year celebration in Daejon Town Hall I believe. I'm not so sure where is it specifically but it is in the center of Daejon. 

We went there by groups so my buddy decides that we gonna take the taxi because subway will be too crowded and we need to go earlier. So, we split into 2 groups to take a taxi. There was almost no taxi that night because it was a night before the new year. There was one guy, hmm.. an Oppa to be exact. He was a buddy to the other group but he was so kind that he wait with us till we got a taxi. He got his own car, he wanted to bring us all together but we just can't fit in. He was so kind T.T 

When we reached there, my group and his group walk together and it was so packed with humans. Literally PACKED! I don't know how should I describe to you guys but it was so so so so packed. Anyways we found a spot that is not so packed so we just stand there and listen to the performances. 

After the performances, the countdown begins and after the clock is 12 a.m sharp they (Koreans) release the balloons that they were holding as wishes for the new year. Then there was a speech by important people of Korea. hahaha idk who. And there was a lucky draw as well until 12.30 a.m. The most awaited moment, the reasons we went there is to watch firework performances.

The photo is all mine

The firework was based on the song that they played so basically the firework was dancing. hahaha. I got to improve my photography skill as well during the firework. 

After the firework end, we need to take a taxi back to the dormitory. Sadly there was almost no taxi. My buddy Seonmin, need to run all over the place to find taxis for us. I feel bad for her because it was so cold and late at night. I'm so touched when she working so hard to make sure we went back safely.  선민, 너 최고야! 

We reached our dorm at 2 a.m it was a tiring day but I enjoyed it so much. 

The next day, It's a holiday so there was no class. Our activity starts at 3 p.m. It was an International Day. We need to prepare a presentation about our own country. So my team present about Malaysian food and also a Malay song (which is Hari Raya song). We got to learn about other countries as well as German, Bangladesh, China, America and more. Guess what? our team got the best presentation! It was so unexpected. 

And yea we wear Baju Kurung in Winter. By the way, on the 5th day, 1st January 2019, I experience my first ever snow! I was so happy that day!

So, guys, that's all for this entry. Day 4 was a bit longer maybe because I enjoyed that day the most. You guys can go to my Instagram and checked out my Korea journey on the highlight area. I was planning to edit my videos for vlog but I'm not really feeling it. Need some motivations I guess.

Thank your for spending your time <3

Winter Program in Korea (Day 1 to 3)

Assalamualaikum and hi, I'm back in 2019! If you guys haven't updated with my life yet (as if anyone does) I went to Korea for Winter Program as an exchange student for about 11 days. I'm not sure if I should update all 11 days in one post. I think it will be super lengthy and you will be tired from reading. I'm just gonna continue with day 1 until day 3.

There are 30 students from my university who joined this program. Each of us was appointed to do some task while in Korea. So I became a photographer. Anyway, on day 1 nothing much happened. We arrived at Incheon airport around 2 p.m Korean time. Chungnam National University is in Daejon, from Incheon airport (Seoul) to CNU take about 3 hours. So nothing much really happened in day 1 cause we were just busy traveling.

On the second day, we have our orientation. We learn about CNU and about Daejon a little bit. Then we were given buddy. One Korean buddy with five Malaysian buddies.

My Korean buddy's name is Park Seonmin. She is very cute and nice. After "ice-breaking" session she brought us to a local restaurant that sells noodles. I don't really know what is the exact name of the noodle but it was good. The portion of the meals is freaking huge! I can't even finish my food. After we had our meal, she brought us to another side of University. There is a downtown that has lots of shops. She introduced us to Korean bubble milk tea. It's great you guys should try it if you went to Korea. Being in Korea we really need to walk a lot. I'm serious! it's A LOT!!

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Then for the evening session, we have like a class about Korea. They just tell Korea history and places to visit.

After that session finished, we have free times. So I decided to follow my friends to go to the downtown which known as Gung dong. Well, there's a lot of shops but there is no halal food. That's sad.

This is Gung dong.

On the third day, Seonmin brings us to Jungangro. It was my first time to take a bus and subway in Korea. I've only seen it in the drama and I was so so so excited.

We went for some window shopping and we also spent some time in the arcade. Korean arcade isn't different much from Malaysia arcade but they do have more games than us. You can actually play archery, shooting, AR bike and a lot more. We also had some foods there. Sadly, Daejon isn't a foreigner place and there is no Muslim around, so looking for halal food was so hard. Then we just wandered around until we decide to go to the dormitory. At that night I didn't go out, just staying at the dormitory. 

Yeah that is it for this post. Day 4 will be more exciting but it is too long to include in this entry. It's late at night and I'm already tired. So, see you in next post and have a nice day ahead!