It's already March....?

Assalamualaikum and hi! It's been a while since the last update. If you are regular here, you probably know I was going through an internship. I made it guys, I finished my six months internship in February. To be honest, I have a lot going on throughout those six months.

I've been thinking a lot about my future. I constantly think about it. In my life, I never make any "major" decision. It's always been influenced or someone else will decide for me. I don't know if it is for the better or not. I will be graduated with Degree in Accounting and honestly, I don't think accounting is the right path for me. Before I finished my internship, I applied for a lot of jobs in the hope I will be able to work really soon after finishing my intern. I was determined to not cross paths with accounting anymore. But, "I never make any major decision" keeps happening. I was offered to continue working in the firm after finishing my internship on a contract basis. I have no say, to be the good and perfect daughter, I accepted it. I keep convincing myself, maybe it's for the best. Is it? I barely survive my degree, I don't know if I can keep it to the entire life. It's been 4 days since I started working, I think I can make it through. 

I was really preoccupied with thinking about myself, about who I want to be. I didn't realize, it is already March. Nothing really special with March but I feel like I was running without a destination this whole time. I am happy to be working because I can afford my own food but I feel like I want to pause for a while. I feel like my life has always been rushing from a place to another and there's no specific destination. It's lonely too.

However, I have an interest that helps me to compose myself and makes me at ease. It's not drugs for sure hahaha. I do makeup every weekend just to ensure I still have an interest and basically making myself sane. Yeah, visit my Ig at sarahisyah_ to support (shameless plug). Writing is still one of my favorite thing to do! I may not be writing on the blog, but I still write somewhere. 

I'm sorry for another short depressing post. I hope to make the fun entry soon! Anyway, how was your 2021 so far? I hope each of you is doing better.  I'm glad I can still write and communicate with you guys. Thank you for the support for all this time. See you in the next entry!