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Thursday, January 20, 2022

This entry is supposed to be in 1st Jan 2022

 Assalamualaikum and hi everyone. How are you guys been doing? I hope everyone is doing really good and have a great day ahead. It is almost at the end of January 2022. I've been putting on my schedule to draft/write an entry since day 1 but I keep procrastinating



2021, was an eventful year for me. The biggest life transition happened to me. I also make a very huge step by seeking help from professionals regarding my mental health. I lost hope most of the time but it allow me to fight to survive. I bet you could see from my previous entry. I would say 2021 is the year I am discovering myself. I have 10 new hobbies, 1000 break down, 100 joyful moments, 100 rejections and the list goes on and on. 

All I could say is I ended my 2021, with a lot of values and knowledge to bring into 2022.

I would like to fast forward to January 2022. I started my year with a new dream and I never felt this good in my life, I started a new job, changed my wardrobe, exercising, just thinking I could thrive this year. But, yea who am I kidding? I am still struggling to control my emotion, controlling my thoughts and my depressive episodes are hitting me here and there. Sadly, I stop seeing my therapist for 2 months due to a clash of schedules but starting next week I'm seeing a new therapist. I hope everything went well.

As my first 2022, a mental obstacle that I feel like ruining my mental health is I lost interest in everything I use to have fun doing it. I stop doing makeup, I stop drawing, I get less interested in food, I lost my interest in writing. It takes me a lot to write this entry, It feels so dreading. That's why I keep procrastinating on my new year entry.

Sometimes I feel like I am overreacting, I feel like I keep telling people how much I'm struggling. Which I definitely don't have to. I felt sorry but I don't at the same time. I don't know where is my thought process brings me. 

I think this is going to be a short entry because I don't know what else to say. Usually, I will go into detail about what I learned and achieved last year. But not this time I guess. To conclude, 2021 was the year that I feel really close to giving up but at the same time, it gave me a lot of reason to keep on fighting.

How was your 2021? Is the first month of 2022 getting better? Share with me and see you on the next entry!