I'm feeling better

cr. weheartit

Hi, I'm back again with another entry. Well i know that i don't have any readers anymore because of my irregular schedule of updating. Anyways hi everyone, hi to whoever read this. If you read this leave your message to me la haha.

If you already keep up with my story in this blog. you probably notice that i'm going through some stuff. I've been so negative. I'm tired. I'm stressed out. To be honest.. till today i'm still going through the same thing but i feel a lot better.

I want to share with you guys how i feel last time and how i can feel better maybe this might help some of you out there especially my friends. I'm here to help you a little.

I was down and feeling depress and stress i cried every night because something did happen to me. i won't tell why but i literally feel like i was such a failure and my life is dark. Nothing seems bright to me. So when i started a new semester it get worse. I start to cry every time i need to go to class or if i don't cry i will start sweating, my heart beat fast. I'm nervous and i was scared. I was scared of everything that might happen in  the class. I can't focus in class.  Every night before i sleep i'll just shed my tears hoping tomorrow will be better but it doesn't get any better.

Until.. i was called to go to a program. At first, i tried to find thousands of reason to not going there. I thought that i need to go there because i'm a failure, i'm a problematic student. That is how i truly feel. But i can't find any valid reasons and i just take a deep breath and go with so much negative perception about that program.

I was wrong that program is not for problematic person not for a failure person but in fact, that program wakes me up. It open my eyes. They help me to find back reasons why i need to stay strong why i need to struggles why and how i can do better. They never blame me for making a mistake. But they convince me that amazing humans made mistakes. Amazing people come through failure.

Friends, i have lost my dream. I have no will to go through my life. I almost gave up. Life seems so hard to me. If you ever feel what i have feel.. I just want to tell you that, it's okay to make mistakes. Yes people will blame you, people will say bad thing about you. But remember, it's your life. You are the one who need to shape your life. It's your airplane! You are the pilot! Find your own happiness, forget all those people. Real friends, will fly besides you together. When you fall, they help you to get up. If there is nobody around you to do that. Nobody deserve you because you are amazing, you are great person. You have yourself! you are not a failure you just make a mistakes and we learnt from mistakes.

Problems will always find their way to see you but you need to be strong for each problem you are facing. You are not alone.. Believe me you are not alone.. There will always be someone to be by your side. You know i cried making this post.. I remember those pains i felt. It hurts.. so bad. I was all alone at that time. I didn't reach my friends or anyone for help because i was embarrassed of my self. You should reach out to someone. Everyone has their struggles don't be embarrassed of yourself.. If you need some help, i will be there to listen just find me. I will try to help you.

That's all for today's post. I hope you guys have an amazing day. Stay happy and be positive for a better days. bye