Assalamualaikum and hi everyone. This is the most extended break I took from blogging or writing. There is a lot of unfinished draft and it's probably just gonna stay as drafts. So, this entry going to be my first 2023 update and let's catch up.
I kind of scroll back my blog and I realized I was in so much pain last year. I would like to thank everyone who has been here throughout my journey. Uh, writing kind of feels awkward now haha. Anyway, I'm doing a lot better than last year. I feel like I'm more mature and really in the acceptance stage.
Early this year, I received a job offer and since then I've been working in the new place. Honestly, I was struggling a lot. My anxiety was high, I keep overthinking, and impostor syndrome really hits me. Although I feel like I'm doing better mentally, I am still struggling to just be at my best. Every day does feel like I'm going into a new battle. But again, my mental state was in a better place so I try to embrace every single day with positivity. Sometimes it does feel like I'm just distracting myself but it does feel better.
I have stopped going to therapy and honestly every month I wish I go to therapy but when I'm at the scheduling part I just left it there until next month and repeat the same thing. It stuck on scheduling and payment. I don't know, since I change therapists, therapy just doesn't feel the same. I miss my therapist hahaha. Anyway, I'm proud of myself for not depending on a therapist anymore. I am able to navigate my emotions and cope well. Also, I might find something to be addicted to so I just feel better :) (don't worry the addiction is not drugs hahaha)
A lot of things have happened since the last update. I know finding a boyfriend or a future husband has been my goal for idk how long, I kept mentioning it in past blog posts as well. Guess what, it's now 2023 and I am still single *smiles with a peace sign. I'm not complaining but I am, why is it so hard to find someone? I gave up on all the dating apps cause it's not getting anywhere. Sis is tired, like at this point I don't care anymore but actually I still care but don't.... do you understand me??
Anyway, I kind of noticed a few of my friends are going through hard times and some of them do be reminding me of my past self. I feel a bit disappointed because I know the pain and I feel like I can help them but they are not fond of the help. I got sad every time it happened but I have to remind myself that my friend's mental health is not my responsibility. I can offer everything but if the person doesn't want to take the first steps, there is no point in helping. I have this entire blog writing and opening up in hopes people who read this will at least relate and start seeking help and it does, I used to receive dms people thanking me for opening up and making them feel less lonely. But if none of my friends are willing to take my stories, it's okay. There is more to life.
I guess this is all I want to update you guys. I really hope I start writing and sharing again even though I feel like the blog is becoming less relevant. It's just a safe space you know. So, share with me your life update, how are you guys doing? Do you guys get partners now? hahaha. See ya in the next post!
No comments:
Post a Comment